Tuesday, June 19, 2007

a window into the pane

I haven't had a 'real' post in a while... I haven't had much I've wanted to really talk about. Life has been really weird lately. Everything I've ever been used to is different. I feel like I'm having one of those 'out of body' experiences... or living in a dream world that isn't quite reality and never waking up... or like living someone else's life...
I'm 27 years old. for more than a quarter of a century my life seemed to be 'normal'. Now it seems that almost every form of stability that I've known up until this point is crumbling...
sometimes I lie to myself subconsciously and say that this isn't really happenning. I feel numb to most of it... I can even separate myself from it a lot of days. but it comes back... it's there like a scar that will now never go away... always there... always reminding me of pain... always reminding me of brokenness...

then I think of the cross and every emotion that went into that...

I don't really know what pain is... I just live in a broken world.

Friday, June 08, 2007