Wednesday, February 27, 2008

clarity in confusion

For so long I have been struggling with inner-peace. I've not been too happy with myself... I don't have a job.. that's the big one. I don't feel like I am contributing anything to society at this point. I have an unbelievable girlfriend.. she is everything that I need... she knows how to love me exactly how I need to be loved... in saying that, I feel like a dead-beat who is incapable of being a provider... For a single mother with three children, that has to be pretty scary. I know I have other things to offer her, just as I know I have things to offer society in some sort of vocation... I do not understand why the hundreds of resume's I've put out has had very little kick-back. I don't understand why I can't pay my bills despite my faithfulness and obedience. I don't understand why there has been so many hard issues that have come our way... If I told you every single thing that Jennifer and I have been through I believe you would be surprised that one of us hasn't had a nervous break-down at this point.
I refuse to believe that God does not have a plan for us.
I refuse to believe that God does not have a plan for me.
I refuse to stay discouraged.
I feel God using me.
I feel God molding me.
I feel God breaking me.
I am humbled.

7 comments:

Suz said...

Your Mama loves you Eric. Remember: Trust, not clarity!

Merr said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
janelle said...

Eric, you and my sister are so cute together. I am sure that you will find a great job soon. Continue to stay focused on God until then. Our family loves you so much and we are so thankful to have you part of it.

Daniel Rudd said...

praying for you brother

ANTI-ONION SOCIETY said...

dead-beat you are not, my friend.
you are creative
and kind
and headed somewhere good.

i'll keep my ears open for anything you might find interesting(though historically i have not been a magnet for lucrative employment)
:)

Rich & Darcie said...

Eric -

Not sure if you remember us, but we go to SLWC. Anyways, Rich is in the insurance industry and is hiring some people. If you are interested please let me know because he'd love to talk with you. Seriously, if you are interested let me know. Either reply to me here with your e-mail address, or come over to our blog and leave me a message there.

Darcie Jackson

tana said...

hey dude... you and jen need to take a trip up north again! hopefully.. this weekend :)