Monday, March 10, 2008

it's time for me to re-think

I'm pondering lately what God intended 'the church' to be... I see so much pain, heartache and grief caused by churches and people within the church causing people in ministry to say "I've had enough." I see bitterness, betrayal and hypocrisy. I see a multitude of sinners casting stones, thinking they're standing for the cause of justice... but at the cost of grace and integrity. Surely this is not what God intended... there is a place for someone to say that this is the result of a broken world and sin infesting itself among the saints, but I say there is something much deeper at the root of it all... and I think it starts with what the church is supposed to look like... I think what we now know as the church sucks to be honest with you... I think most 'Christians' have missed it... I've missed it, but now I am trying to process this and as I do, I wonder why I've been blinded for so long...I feel like I've bought into something that is 'easy'... I've dwelled in a place where I can hide if I want to... I can choose to live in my crap with no accountability and no community... and if I choose this, no one will call me out on it because it is what I choose... I need a place where someone won't let me or anyone else 'fall through'... and let me just say this: EVERYONE has crap and everyone hides their crap... I hide mine and you hide yours, so let's just give up the 'holier than thou' attitudes... let's drop the gossip about the person who gets caught and realize that if all of our hearts were x-rayed, they would ALL look identical... it's no wonder why there are people who absolutely can't stand the environment, constitutions, make-up, politics, leadership, values, laws, etc. of a church and the 'Christianity' it wants them to buy into... I'm fed up with it. I want something more... I want what God intended... I want to know God and live like Jesus... and to surround myself with people who want the same...

what happened to community? what happened to accountability? what happened to the church?


tana said...

yup. agree.

my question is... if there are so many of us that "agree"... why isn't anything changing? And when we think that we're making progress... it's one step forward only to go two steps back.

BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! grrreeeesssaaagggaa. Super frustrated... and yet... i don't think it's this "complex" thing we're suppose to figure out. Jesus didn't come w/ a hard to figure out message. He didn't do it. But... tell ya what... it is us... and if we're not putting our two cents in about something "major" then it's about having louder worship, or even "honey hams".

When is it going to change? What can we do? Or maybe we're all too lazy... and complacent. Or there's too many mixed messages.

super spent dude.

Giving it to God. Thank goodness He's bigger and really is in control. He's consistent and LOVES us... so confused right now.

tana said...

ok... also... i looooovee how we compare ourselves and like to "classify" sin. What a joke! God doesn't care. WE care. We looove to feeeel good... throwing stones.

"If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone" and JESUS didn't condemn. JOHN 8:7

jennifer dawn said...

Well written baby!

Let's go find some people who need some lovin. There are so many broken people in this world that need some hands and feet.

Here am I Lord, send me....

ohhh and by the way, I'm so glad that I have to just be willing to be sent and not perfect.

ryan gerten said...

isnt it interesting how words like, constitutions, politics, and laws have been used to describe the church. I seem to remember Jesus breaking the religious laws of His day just to heal one man. What if we stopped being "Christians" and started being Christ followers? What if, for once, we become real, and let people know about our crap? The reality of my life is that I still need Jesus everyday, not just somedays. But how many people know that about me?