Tuesday, September 05, 2006

post one hundred and twenty

2:53 am

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Tonight my thoughts are held hostage by the past. I am not allowed to sleep until I indulge my memory of every moment I can conjure up. Right now, there is no escape. It is, however, curiously entertaining.

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Photographs... many photographs... why do I still have these? I don't think I ever could let go. All these years I've known that they were still there waiting for me, but tonight I looked at them. I looked at them knowing full well the danger of what it might stir up.

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Everything is re-lived tonight in my mind... what-if's loom largely, emotions hang in the balance.

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I say to myself: 'No. No, that could never work.' But I'm still a hostage to the thought. It's funny how a chain of events can lead me to this entrapment.

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coincidence? Aw, who am I kidding.

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