worship endeavors...

I've recorded a new song...

I didn't write it....

but I like it so much, I recorded my own version of it...
check it out!!! (it's the first one that plays)

this is an attempt to land some more worship gigs...

it's not every year...

that you can celebrate like this...

planning a wedding...

...takes more time than I ever could have imagined!

But

it's coming together... and it's been a fun ride. My favorite part is that Jenni loves all my ideas (:
It's going to be a fun, fun weekend when it finally gets here!



mmm... can't wait to have this everyday!

I'm going to be a part of a whole new family

OKAY

I know I said footage of the proposal is coming soon, but I've been way too busy... so here is a post with no footage... but none-the-less, a post.
So, I've been leading worship around Michigan with some really solid musicians at different camps, retreats, church's, etc... and now it's been a few weeks since we've played out... I'm really beginning to realize that I need to be a worship leader... I don't really know what that means exactly.. whether that means on staff at a church, or if it means at camps and events like we've been doing...
I know that I come alive when I'm a part of this... It's so emotional for me... something happens... the stars align... everything is right within me and around me for those moments that I'm using what God has given me and inviting others into the throne room of the Almighty.
I don't know where this is all going, I just know I need to be a part of it.

a marriage proposal...

should be well planned...

Limo: check
Treasure Map: check
Roses: check
Massage: check
Manicure: check
Write her a song: check
Have her sister's in on the surprise: check
Have families waiting and cheering: check

I will post some video footage soon, but just know that it was a magical day... (:
and she said yes...

I have mice in my house...

so I've hired an exterminator...




I pay him in cat chow, litter, and good company.

his name is Ninja Turtles... thanks to Josh.

mmm...

eye game

There is something wrong with one of these pictures... can you figure out which one doesn't belong?

another week begins...

I'm confident it will be a GREAT one.

abolition

I can't believe how perverse our world is... it is so perverse that even Christians have become numb to so much of it. I can't believe what I see Christians doing, watching, saying, allowing into their lives and homes etc... it starts with one compromise which leads to another which leads to another and so on... there is no filter... and after a while we become numb to the conviction of the Holy Spirit and find ourselves slaves to sin and ensnared in something the world has told us is okay. I am beginning to have no tolerance for compromise... it has affected me so closely this week that I refuse to have it be near me... I don't want a 'middle of the road' lifestyle and am ready to call people out who are living there... I firmly believe that we Christians were called to a higher standard and we need to just flat out destroy any trace of compromise... this compromise, this perversity, this numbness within people who claim to be 'followers of Christ' has ruined my day for the last time... the results of it has thrown such a wrench into my world that I want to puke...
it's dirty, filthy, ugly sin... we need to eliminate this detrimental disease... it hurts way too much.

it's time for me to re-think

I'm pondering lately what God intended 'the church' to be... I see so much pain, heartache and grief caused by churches and people within the church causing people in ministry to say "I've had enough." I see bitterness, betrayal and hypocrisy. I see a multitude of sinners casting stones, thinking they're standing for the cause of justice... but at the cost of grace and integrity. Surely this is not what God intended... there is a place for someone to say that this is the result of a broken world and sin infesting itself among the saints, but I say there is something much deeper at the root of it all... and I think it starts with what the church is supposed to look like... I think what we now know as the church sucks to be honest with you... I think most 'Christians' have missed it... I've missed it, but now I am trying to process this and as I do, I wonder why I've been blinded for so long...I feel like I've bought into something that is 'easy'... I've dwelled in a place where I can hide if I want to... I can choose to live in my crap with no accountability and no community... and if I choose this, no one will call me out on it because it is what I choose... I need a place where someone won't let me or anyone else 'fall through'... and let me just say this: EVERYONE has crap and everyone hides their crap... I hide mine and you hide yours, so let's just give up the 'holier than thou' attitudes... let's drop the gossip about the person who gets caught and realize that if all of our hearts were x-rayed, they would ALL look identical... it's no wonder why there are people who absolutely can't stand the environment, constitutions, make-up, politics, leadership, values, laws, etc. of a church and the 'Christianity' it wants them to buy into... I'm fed up with it. I want something more... I want what God intended... I want to know God and live like Jesus... and to surround myself with people who want the same...

what happened to community? what happened to accountability? what happened to the church?

every guy should be this lucky...

well, maybe just one guy... (:

hip hip...

hooray.
I have internet and cable at my house...

and the peasants rejoiced.


The sun is out again today... which always makes for a good day.
As long as I have reasons to find joy, I'll keep embracing those moments!

clarity in confusion

For so long I have been struggling with inner-peace. I've not been too happy with myself... I don't have a job.. that's the big one. I don't feel like I am contributing anything to society at this point. I have an unbelievable girlfriend.. she is everything that I need... she knows how to love me exactly how I need to be loved... in saying that, I feel like a dead-beat who is incapable of being a provider... For a single mother with three children, that has to be pretty scary. I know I have other things to offer her, just as I know I have things to offer society in some sort of vocation... I do not understand why the hundreds of resume's I've put out has had very little kick-back. I don't understand why I can't pay my bills despite my faithfulness and obedience. I don't understand why there has been so many hard issues that have come our way... If I told you every single thing that Jennifer and I have been through I believe you would be surprised that one of us hasn't had a nervous break-down at this point.
I refuse to believe that God does not have a plan for us.
I refuse to believe that God does not have a plan for me.
I refuse to stay discouraged.
I feel God using me.
I feel God molding me.
I feel God breaking me.
I am humbled.

guess who's coming back to the wings!!

okay the last post was a hoax... sorry.. I got some awesome reactions though... this time it's real... Darren McCarty is going to be a Red Wing again... and that makes me happy.

guess who's engaged!!

sunny days

what is it about the weather that can change your mood? The sun was shining today... it made me happy.

dogs again

i love these pooches.

again

stuck.

i hate michigan winters... maybe I wouldn't hate them so much if this particular winter didn't have the abundance of snow/ice/frozen roads/frozen cars/getting stuck in unplowed/unshoveled driveways. I remember last winter getting stuck a few times with my passat and figured that this winter would be fine with my mighty, new grand prix... I am humbled.

I've never been so tempted to want to move.
I've never been so tempted to curse.
I've never been so tempted to trade this piece of crap in for something with 4-wheel-drive.

okay, so if I just didn't have to drive in this God-forsaken weather it wouldn't be half as bad... maybe I could somewhat appreciate a small portion of it's beauty... I'm sure I'd still find more things to complain about... like how cold it is and how my feet and hands and ears and nose are never warm...

the more I think about it, the more I realize that the piles of snow outside are really the least of my worries... I think deep down, if I feel like I can vent about something that's a minor inconvenience, then I feel better about the major inconveniences that are really affecting me... inconveniences that I can't really come out and say...

I wish life had an easy-button.